Ride to Cloud Valley with the RTMC

“Bob, wanna join me for a ride up to Coorg with the RTMC boys?” asked Dominic. I had a trip pending to B’lore anyways and was giving it serious thought over the week. I had to deliver my Enfield Fury anyways there and thought I will hop on pillion up to Coorg. As the week progressed, found out that the buyer of the Fury was out of town and needed 3 more weeks. So I decided to “run-in” my brand new RD350B engine assuming 750 kms should be a breeze of a run in and also straight roads would help it set a bit!! Thus, I settled down, making plans with Dom to leave on Friday evening to B’lore, stay overnight and then leave the bike with a local mech there and go pillion up to Coorg. Left the bike on Wednesday with my mech here and gave it a thorough check up. New hot plugs went in, new acc cable and clutch cable, new exhaust manifold. They were things that needed to be replaced anyways. Test rode it on Thursday, did a bit of fine tuning by myself and yes, was all set to go!! Tragedy struck….

Dom went out for a party on Thursday night and had some rotten food. His tummy was out for a toss!! He dropped out last minute saying he might leave on Saturday morning if things became ok!! I couldn’t believe it!! This was something I was actually looking forward to, and it was breaking to bits in front of my eyes!! Went ahead and took matters into my own hands!! Dom or no, I left Chennai on Friday noon at about 3 pm and headed towards B’lore, alone. (Odo reading 10997 kms)

As I entered Poonamalee (50 kms from Chennai) the bike seemed to be responding well!! She seemed to be looking forward to this for a long time!! But somehow I had the feeling that she was struggling to pull above 60 kph in regular traffic. Tired a few open throttle sessions and yes, it was confirmed!! Bike was not moving freely!! Looked immediately at the first suspect, the back wheel drum!! And yes, the brake was tightened beyond normal!! Stopped over at a mech’s place, borrowed a pair of pliers and loosened it myself. Tried a couple of test runs and it seemed to moved with relatively much more freedom!! Thanked the mech and moved on.

The ride to B’lore was actually pretty uneventful after that!! Ipod in the ear, an occasional stop for coconut water, tea and smoke saw me reach B’lore at about 8.30pm. Got lost in the city and then called up Anil who was waiting for me along with Soup. We were to have dinner at a place called ‘Elements’. As usual, Soup’s selection of an eatery was excellent!! Amazing T-bone steak coupled with some excellent chicken made sure I had my share of fantastic meat for the day!!! Once that was done, me and Anil rode back to his place where I promptly crashed out on the couch and was snoring away…till….Anil’s alarm woke up the entire neighborhood at 4.30am!!

Had a quick shower and geared up. We head off to B’lore University, as this was the meeting point. Although we were doing good speeds, we managed to reach the meeting point only at 5.45 am…to find no one there!!! Anil panicked, he assumed everyone had left. Made a logical decision and called Prashi who picked it up at the first ring!!

Prashi: Hi bob!!
Me: Dude, where are you??
Prashi: At home da!! Why??
Me: Dei, are you not going to Coorg?
Prashi: Yeah macha, I am.
Me: Anil and I are at the meeting point and there is no one here da!! I think everyone left!!
Prashi: What naansense!! I am the ride captain!! I’ll see you in 10 mins!! Dumm….

Prashi casually arrives at 6 am that’s when I see the boys slowly assembling over!! Anil heaves a sigh of relief, and for no reason, heads off alone towards Chennapatna!! I did a little catching up with Prashi, Chaddi man, Kavitha, Easha, Dead dog and others. We eventually rode out at 6.45 types. Since Dead dog knew I was running in, he graciously slowed down for me the entire way!! Much appreciated dude!! Although the reason for the slowing down shall be attributed to later!! Hehehe!!!


We met for breakfast about 90 kms from B’lore at a place called Chennapatna. A good idly-vada combo made sure everyone had a hearty meal before the belting of the ghats began!! As usual, the riders who were hell bent on making those bullets move, sped away and I rode at a steady 80-90kmph behind Dead dog, who was looking into his rear mirrors from time to time checking if everything was ok. That’s when I noticed he was also talking to his pillion and then realized this was not a check for me, but mirror talk with the pillion!! But I knew he would stop the minute he realized I was not in a remote part of his rear mirrors!! We stopped at a T-junction at a place called Srirangapatna. I thought I was the last to arrive, but lo!! There were people who landed up after me too!!! This is where the ghats / forest section began!! We passed many small villages and at one place, Kushal nagar, my back went for a toss with absolutely no roads and just rocky protrusions on solid, hardened clay!!

We met a good 120 kms later at the beginning of the ghats that led upto Madikere. Over here, Chaddi and Sam were too eager to start off and sped away. That’s when I realized everyone had left except for me!! I had no choice but to try and keep up with them on the ghats!! Although it was pretty easy on the RD to do this, I was a tad worried about the constant revving and gear shifts needed. We rode like a racing squad hell bent on out turning each other!! Regular foot peg / silencer scrapes were the norm of the day!! In fact, I had the feeling of riding on the track with all the leaning and knee out sessions!! That’s when I heard an odd clanging noise from the rear. Assuming it was the troublesome seat lock that kept unlocking itself, I kept speeding on!! But it seemed to grow louder with every left turn!! When I finally reached Madikere and stopped, I was shell shocked!! The left silencer had dislodged itself and was resting precariously on the main stand!! I had absolutely no idea how it managed to stay on all the 35 kms uphill with the constant belting!!

This was the first time something had ever happened to my bike on a ride!! Dejected I walked around Coorg searching for a mech who could weld the silencer back in place. Unfortunately, none of the mechanics were willing to help and I walked back in silence thinking what I would do to get the bike the rest of the 50 kms uphill towards Cloud valley. I sat down next to the bike, peering into what the actual issue was. I noticed that the silencer clamp had cleanly come off, broken and the screw holding the front end of the pipe to the frame had fallen off!! That explained the rattling sound all the way up the ghats!! I noticed a courier packing service nearby and borrowed some of the jute tape they use to bind couriers, hoping that should last the 50 kms as Prashi promised of some JEEP garages in Coorg. I tied it up real tight and Abhi was last heard commenting “that should last you all the way to Chennai man!!” At least that’s what we all hoped!! But fate had other plans….

As everyone geared up and left towards the mountains, I slowly, hesitantly packed up my gear and rode cautiously behind the whole bunch. I mentally noted down every turn, so that in case I got lost, at least I knew the way back to the city!! At one point everyone had disappeared up in front, and I was left riding alone. Abhi’s words came to a crashing halt when I heard a huge metallic klang and the silencer broke clean off the clamps and tape and lay on the road smoking!! Glanced around, found some very very dirty kid’s pant embedded into the clay, pulled it out, beat it clean, tore it to smaller bits and tied up the silencer!! Later found out that it was a madman’s cloth, which he had discarded all over the roads!! Rode this way all the way back to Coorg, found no mechanics willing to help again and rode back all the way to Cloud Valley!!

When I rode in, found some tents that were pitched up for the night and all the boys waiting. Some of them thought I was lost and were actually gearing up to get back and find me!! Huge sigh of relief for them as I trundled in with bits of pant holding the silencer!! Prashy went ahead and ordered for some binding wire from the resort owner and we tied up the silencer real tight and it seemed to work!! Unpacked my gear and saw that the boys had already started their ‘session’!! Joined up with a nice stiff drink and there were stories throughout the evening with good doses of everyone tripping on each other!! Great fun that was!! Somewhere in the evening, after lunch, everyone decided to head to the river for some splashing around!! We trekked for about 5 kms and reached the crystal clear Cauvery river!! Here, Abhi and co. made sure no one was spared and everyone was either, gracefully led into the water, or in most cases, forcibly pushed into it and drenched!! All of us returned to the resort like wet crows, after a good hour of water sports!!

Back at the resort, a quick change into dry clothes and we continued where we left off!! Drinks, smokes and good doses of laughing!! A great dinner followed somewhere in the middle and made sure no one was hungry!! Anil got his dose of ‘wet’ treatment with a bucket of cold water, as he did not make it to the river!! Almost everyone crashed at about 12 in the night when KJ suddenly called Anil and said he was on his way there!! Me and Anil waited in utter darkness, on the roads, flashing torch lights to guide him into camp. Almost looked like a scene from Jurassic Park where Malcolm is found and the torch lights keep flashing on the trees looking out for the T-Rex!! Finally a good 15 minutes later, we hear the familiar thump of 2 engines and KJ arrives with 2 of his friends. More drinking, pranks on KJ and co. followed and I eventually crashed out in the tent, at around 3 in the morning, with the musical chirping of the cicadas on one side and heavy snoring of Prashy and Shakti on the other!!

Woke up at about 8 the next day (or rather same day!!) to find everyone already up and jumping about!! ‘Saamaan’ was trying to fix his puncture, Prashy was looking into my bike to check if the wire would hold, ‘Susumaa’ was trying desperately to fight off the mother of all hangovers and KJ was trying to fix the horn on his Bolero which for some reason was sounding like a TVS champ wail!!! Got refreshed, morning duties done, an excellent breakfast made sure I was firing on all cylinders!! Went to the bike and double checked if everything was ok and yes, perfect as usual!! The regular photo session took place, more jokes and more plans later, people rolled out into the parking lot and we started our decent back from heaven!! The ride back was uneventful though, I was making sure the wire would hold well and yes, we had done a fantastic job of it!! It held all the way down the mountains and back to the meeting point in Chennapatna!! I had a hearty lunch there and bid adieu to all my biking brethren and started out on my solo journey back to Chennai. Reached Bangalore at about 5 in the evening and was stuck in the heaviest of traffic jams possible!! Tried wiggling my way around but it seemed to get worse by the meter!! So I called up a family friend and shifted base to their house for the night!! Settled there at about 7 in the night and another round of drinks, story telling and the Chennai – Rajasthan match provided ample entertainment!! Slept fitfully at about 11 in the night and woke up at a crisp 7 in the morning!! Had breakfast and beat the traffic out of Bangalore!! The ride up to Vellore was pathetic with intermittent rains and bad traffic, but later everything worked out well and I reached Chennai at around 1 PM in the noon. Went home straight for a good bath, lunch and realized that I need to be at work!! Went to office at about 3 and left back after completing the day’s work by about 9!! The rest of the night was spent in narrating the incidents to wifey and laughing at the comedy of errors that we are!! (Odo reading 12668 kms)

Thanks a ton to the RTMC, who despite my last minute entry, greeted me with open arms, as usual!! Special mention to Dead Dog who made sure I was in his rear view mirror and giving me company throughout the ride!! Thanks a ton dude, I owe you one!! Thus ends a fantastic ride, with great company, great booze and most importantly a mind blowing destination!!

Pics are here

A comedy of errors... circa 2005

An incident that remains fresh in our minds even though it has been 3 years since!!! Read on.. Narrated by Ravi and Dosai

THE DAY BOBBY GOT FUCKED - PART - 1 - By Ravi Kiran



PARTY DAY - 7:00PM, ANNA NAGAR.

"Cheers!!!"...said everyone in unison.

"Sarangan, this champ-agni is berrry nice." said Bobby as he gulped down a portion of Champagne and chased it with some cheese and pineapple on a stick. "I am so glad I bunked office and came here. I just told them I don't feel like coming today, and my office was perfectly fine with it."


We stood in the balcony, which gave us a fantastic view, letting us admire the five RD350s parked outside. Zoo, Sarangan, Burny and Bobby went slightly 'rocket'. There were others at the party too, but it's a little hazy. I know Dosai was there, but his role starts a few paragraphs later.


PARTY DAY - 3.00AM, ANNA NAGAR


The night goes and we move to an assortment of beverages, one after the other - vodka, whisky, beer, anything we could get our hands on with alcohol content. It was a fantastic party as usual, with lots of talking and general RD discussions. Sarangan played some Jethro Tull, and we ended having Jet Airways finest. We finally parted ways only to realise that Bobby is too smashed to go back home. Also, he had a small predicament that affects a few men, 'fear-of-wife'. So we went to my house and slept.


DAY AFTER PARTY - 9.00AM, (SOMEWHERE IN TNAGAR)


Swapna: Hello? Hi, is Bobby there?

Bob's Manager: Oh, Hi, Swapna, how is your father?

Swapna: Why, what happened?

Bob's Manager: Bobby said your Father was seriously ill and that he had to go to the hospital. So I told him he didn't have to come to office last night. How is your father?

Swapna: Oh! (Bobby, you @*$%!&!!!) He is fine. Thanks for letting Bobby come, we really needed his support.

Bob's Manager: Ok Swapna, take care then

Swapna: Bye.



DAY AFTER PARTY - 9.00AM ANNA NAGAR

"Dai, Bobby! I am off to office, lock the door and go back to sleep. Drop of the keys at my office on your way home", as I was just about to turn around and leave, I saw Bobby jump up like a spring and chanting "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit..." On enquiring, apparently, I was on the recieving end because I didn't wake him up at 6 o clock in the morning. Bobby took off home right then, and I left for office, still reeking of alcohol.

DAY AFTER PARTY - 11.00AM ANNA NAGAR

My phone rings.

Me: Hello?

Swapna: (sob, sob. sniff, sniff)

Me: Heloooo?

Swapna: Ravi?

Me: Swapna?! (uh oh) Why are you crying?

Swapna: Ravi, I want you tell me the truth.

Me: Hello? Hello? ....Sw...Hel..

Swapna: Dai, I know you can hear me

Me: Okay...what do you want to know?

Swapna: Where was Bobby last night?

Me: (I cant believe I have a call waiting at this time - Burny??? Why was he calling?)

Swapna: Please Ravi, I need to know. Where was Bobby last night? I called his office and they said he didn't show up. So where was he?

Me: Ok, he was at my place. But what is the matter? (what the hell does does Burny want? - now Bobby's calling?! UH-OH! This means trouble)

Swapna: Ravi, please don't lie to me.

Me: I swear it, he was in my house. Er...I will have to call you back.


DUMMMMM.......



THE DAY BOBBY GOT FUCKED - PART - 2 - By Dosai

Continuing what Ravi started...

DAY AFTER PARTY - 10:55 AM FOGHORN OFFICE

Tring Tring ....

I pick up my mobile and see "Swapna Calling" and was like " HOLY FLUCK WONLEE"

Me : Hi Swapi
Swapna : Dosai u are my friend no ??
Me: Aama ya , What happened ?
Swapna : U will tell me truth wonlee no ??
Me : Shappa kanna kattudhey
Swapna : Where was Bobby Last night
Me ( in an instinct to cover the bald headed barnacle ) : I never saw bobby last night
Swapna : Dont lie to me da, Please tell me. It is a serious thing.
Me : I never saw bobby da swapi, Sathyama I didnt see ( the shit was hitting the roof )
Swapna : Give me Ravi's number da, Ill ask him
Me : Mumble Mumble.. Hold on ( I am signalling to Bharani to call Ravi and tell him to SHUT THE FUCK UP )
Swapna : Never mind i have it, Ill call him ( Bharani is too late in calling him and swapna's line to Ravi goes thru )

Result - I am FACKED!!!


DAY AFTER PARTY - 11:30 AM FOGHORN OFFICE

Tring Tring - SWAPNA CALLING AGAIN - I am going to be dead, write my will please.

Me : Sollu Swapna
Swapna : How can ya lie to me da
Me : I never saw bobby da i swear ( still maintaining the lie )
Swapna : Bobby told me the truth ( THE NERVE OF THAT BALD HEADED BUNGEE JUMPER )
Me : Oh shite
Swapna : #@$%$#@%$%#@$#@$ ( Continues for about 45 mins )

DUMM - Phone line goes dead

DAY AFTER PARTY - 12:30 AM FOGHORN OFFICE

Tringgggggggggg - Jets Bobby Calling

Me : THEVIDIYA PAIYA
Bob : Machi sarri da
Me : THEVIDIYA PAIYA
Bob : I didnt know what to do
Me PUNDA KOODHI ( change from the usual thevidiya paiya )
Bob : Romba sorry man
Me : THEVIDIYA PAIYA
Me : #@$#@$#@$#@$@#$ ( continues for the next 15 mins )

DUMMMM - I cut the phone


Final Result - Bobby gets ass raped at home, Ravi gets OH FUCKED and I get my nuts plucked off. All for what ?? For saving a useless fellow who flies at 160 kmph!!!