January 25
The new year!!!
Wow!! just checked my blog to realise i have been the laziest ass in town!! Happy new years folks!! Had a blast of a new years party!! Had a couple of rides to Pondy and Mahabs. Was great fun although i went in the car to Pondy!! It was me, burny, Ganesh and Christy in a Zen. Lovely speeds, hilarious conversations, Datta joined us with Dhruv in his trusted MM540 Jeep. Over all, it was a small group, enjoying tripping on each other!! Packed off wifey to the US of A on Dec 17th!! So parading around right now as the single-ready-to-mingle bachelor boy!! hehehee!! No worries, all of the female junta i hang around with, know i am married!! Been unwell for about two weeks, but now completely recovered and raring to go!! Mala aunty, mom's elder sister is down from Mumbai and its a regular riot in the house!! We are pulling mom's leg for all the reasons possible!! Overall great fun in the house, swapna's having her fun in the USA and makes sure she tells me everything!! An attempt to make me jealous i say!! Anyways, i am hoping i would be able to blog more frequently from this year on!! Happy new year folks and cheers!!!
October 20
Oct 13th, 2006 and more....
Man!!! A year passed by like no one's business!! Here I am sitting in office, typing out this, just realising that 1 year has gone by without much fanfare and another birthday was here to celebrate!! The comical lamenting from last year continues!! Only Swapna managed to wish me on time!! Many others sent SMS'es but calls few, gifts, fewer!!! As usual, the IPOD was rejected this year too!! DAMN!! I'm buying one myself!! The RD fellows realised late evening and came home for a small party!! DD, Datta, his bro Arka and another friend joined us for a late nite party. Was good fun!! The end discussion after many Johnny Walker sessions was suddenly turned towards my health!! The guys suddenly decided I was putting on weight and started off lectures about working out, eating healthy and breakfast and so on!! DD went on after some time to narrate a story about a ghost babe he and a senior saw in college which freaked the living daylights out of them!! It was not the story which scared us, but the way he narrated it!! SCARY!!! Anyways 1 more year to add to myself, not happy about it, not sad about it!! Diwali is around the corner and I just realised I haven't bought anything!!! Just informed wifey and she says she knew about it and has already bought the necessary clothes!! (Bless her!!) DD had made plans for a post-puja meet up on saturday night on diwali on someone's terrace for some aatish-baazi, pataake, mini gambling and booze. I am not sure about the gambling part of it (unless they involve 10 rupee notes!!) but i am sure i can afford the rest of it!! Weekend is still 2 days away!! Need to meet-the-in-laws, the periappa and co., dad's relatives, mom's relatives, skool friends, college friends, general friends, then the bikers, jeepers!! I have no clue how i am gonna manage all this in 24 teeny weeny hours!! Let's see what Diwali has in store for me!! Mebbe some kind hearted soul will read all this, call up a few people and buy me an IPOD as a birthday / wedding / diwali gift!! (hehehe, i hope and i don't quit!!!) Got a recent promotion at work, as a Team Manager. Works definitely lesser than what it used to be (daily blogging proves it na??!!!), and i am enjoying it!! The agents who report to me are pretty sinciere. No hassles!! Let's see, next week should definitely be more interesting!! So until next week, adios amigos and Happy Diwali!!!
October 19
RTMC 5A
Damn!!! when i finished typing the whole thing, the f***in spaces thing refuses to work!! had to start all over again!! The worst is i don't even remember what i typed properly!! I do know i promised readers about the events happening in daily life, but sheesh!! Can't remember them well enough now!! Oh yes, Deja vu!!! Same time, same place, better partyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!! Oh yes, the Yercaud RTMC 5A Happened this time around too!! but this time I went with 2 babies!! Swapna and Trinity!! We had an amazing 2 night party that resulted in most of us not seeing the daylight for those days (snoring blissfully!!!) The ride was terrific, roads have improved vastly from last year!! Oh yes, that terrible patch of road i was lamenting about last year still exists!! 4 kms of unpaved terror on the highway!! We had a sprinkling of RD's along with a enviable number of bullets!! 3 RD's to be precise, mine, Burny (Maxx) and Dipesh (DD). Very simply said it was a fact that was proved to the self proclaimed 'motorcycle messiahs of the highway' that the RD was no 'fussy, oh i am so gentle i can be used only in the city' types of bike!! The Rd's not only roared all the way across to Yercaud and back but made it without A SINGLE HITCH!!!! Now thats something that will be a smile to every RD fanatic!! Anyways,w as great fun, the RTMC guys rocked as usual, party was fantastic, great music, weird dancing, weirder talk after getting drunk was all part of it!! There was this little bit running about the 'ghost bike'. Story goes this way
Prelude / Facts you need to know: Me and DD have had enough parties together to know when the booze runs out and everyone is itching for another drink to complete that 'high'. So we secretly stock up 8 beers inside DD's icebox which is stashed behind his Ikon.
Time: 2 AM
Location: Outside party hall overlooking the 150 odd bikes parked there, on DD's Ikon
Participants: Me, DD, Maxx (for a very brief period), Abhi, Freya and the some of the RTMC fellas
Scene:
(background patter of rain and drunken mumbling)
The discussion is frantic about an RD doing a 160 kmph.
Abhi (laughing): Hahahahahaa!! stupid fellows!! How is it possible machan!! Bob you are drunk!!
DD: Yeah right!! (turns away to get another drink)
Abhi: Fack machan we are out of drinks!!
At this point me and DD are grinning ear to ear. DD does the magician's act and pulls out an ultra chilled beer from the boot of his car!!
Abhi: Machan!! You are god!!! How did you do that!!
(Heavy laughing ensues!! Main participants me and DD. Odd khat khat khat khat sound at the background)
Me: What the hell was that??
Abhi: You drunk idiot, thats the automatic sprinkler system!!
Me: Shut the fack up, don't I know how a sprinkler sounds??!! Ass!!
Abhi: Get lost ra facker!! Now we lets get back to the RD discussion.
Discussion ensues with odd sound emanating every 5 minutes or so. Me trying to interrupt but stopped by Abhi (jackass!!)
Abhi (suddenly screaming!): Bobby!!! Bobby!!!Bobby!!!Bobby!!!Bobby!!! (runs away into the distance with beer bottle in hand and returns back sober. no sign of beer bottle. Presumably emptied over running around)
DD: Dude that sound is odd man!!
Abhi: You both are drunk asses!! thats the sprinkler!!
(khat khat khat khat thud thud thud thud!!!)
DD: THAT IS A SPRINKLER???!! thats a fackin bike man!!! lets see who the hell is trying to go out now!! caman all of you!!
We searched the entire place, no one was on a bike or even trying to start one!! So finally we come back. Khat khat khat khat thud thud thud!!! damn!!! this was scary!!! this bike which I was standing next to was trying to start itself up!! no rider, no keys!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!
Run for your lives people!! place is haunted!! We sober down in like half a microsecond. Being the 'brilliant engineers' we are, we cautiously inch ourselves towards the ghost bike!! I quickly run in and pull out the spark plug!! Khat khat khat khat thud thud thud!! Me runs back to safe cover for dear life!! Totally freaked!! Abhi pulls out the ignition wiring next!! there is no way after this we think!! but, khat khat khat khat thud thud thud!! damn!! thats one determined ghost!! finally we dislodge the battery and the noise stops!!
Enter Freya: "Hey what you silly boys doing at this time" and parks her rear straight on the "ghost bike"!!! khat khat khat khat thud thud thud!!!
The next thing we hear is a screaming and freya 20 feet up in the air!!! HAHAAA!! Was a funny sight!!! We decided to call it quits before any other 'ghost' decided to show up and retired for the day!! On the way back me and DD finished the 4 beers and 'steadily' walked back to our rooms for a fitful sleep!!
Return journey was terrific too, not many stops, no glitches, started at about 10 in the morn and reached chennai by 5.30 in the eve. Trinity was all out on the highway!! The 160 kmph was proved more than many times to shut everyone up!! Felt happy, had great dinner and slept well!! Great ride, better party, lovely time!! Waiting for the next party........
September 14
Schumi has retired.....
Schumi has retired.... Almost everyone in this world who watches the F1 circus would be talking about it. Well, I am just writing this to show my gratitude to a man whom I never really liked, mostly because of his arrogant attitude and overly aggressive driving skills which other drivers were supposed to bow down to!!
No, I was never a Schumacher fan. Ever since his introduction in 1994 (at least that’s when I remember seeing that name first on the timing chart) he has been nothing but trouble to Formula 1. I still remember the way he used to race Villeneuve Jr. and use excessively aggressive street racing tactics to push his racing counterparts to non finishing positions. The way he tried to assert his superiority over Senna in Spa and got what he rightly deserved, a crash into the barriers!! Schumi was a great driver, no doubt!! What I never liked was the haughty attitude he came packaged with. An attitude that was unasked for and unwanted in a gentlemanly sport. An attitude that got him more enemies than friends. Some people quote it as "that’s how an aggressive driver is". Sorry, if they've ever watched F1 over the ages, the way in which Nikki Lauda, Villeneuve Sr., Senna, Damon Hill raced, they would accept with me saying his behavior is absolute hooliganism!! I've seen races when fellow racers have actually stopped when a team mate was leading the race and develops problems before the finish line and actually let him win the hard earned race!! When Barrichello was asked to pull over (pit orders) to allow Schumi to take lead and win a race that he (Barri) had so rightfully lead form start to finish, I was aghast!! How could they do this?? All my friends supported the act saying it was 'team work' to allow the pole car to continue and get maximum points!! I would call it cowardice!! Stopping a fellow team mate from winning a race for selfish need is nothing short of gangster behavior!! I would not blame Schumi on this, but when his team announced this on radio, the least he could have done is not complied!!
I have indeed seen Schumi shine over the years, go in the dumps in some and return like a phoenix from the ashes later, but I still am not his fan!! If you ask me, yes, I have remained a Mclaren fan through the ages!! Simply because not only were the drivers of mutual respect for each other, there was lovely clean racing between them!! A healthy competition that I have seen go corrupt with the entrance of the 'famed Schumi'. I am not sure how many of you reading this are Schumi fans, I know this would peeve you all off no bounds, but I would say read the whole thing and then decide.
How many times have we heard that an accident was caused by the 'other' person and supported Schumi? How many times have we genuinely seen an overtaking maneuver that has not involved the other car being thrown into the barriers? How many times have we seen team mates being asked to pull over for another's benefits? I mean, if I have to state reasons, there are millions. But no, I will tell you what, I used to admire the man sheerly because of his determination. An unforgiving warrior who accepted no prisoners, move over or die. The attitude was right, but it was molded in the wrong direction ever since he joined Benetton. The over aggressiveness, the haughtiness, the 'I know everything' press conference attitude... damn!!
I don't know how many people remember Mika Hakkinen, now that was a chip off the old block!! The only person whom I know has managed to retain the finesse of racing a formula 1 car and also respect his fellow racer. If memory serves me right, in Spa Franco champs in ’98, he pulled off one of THE MOST AMAZING overtaking maneuvers with Ricardo Zonta playing the innocent bystander!! The sight of a Ferrari and a Mclaren on each side of your rear view mirror approaching at break neck speed is definitely a scary thought!! Still brings back nostalgic memories!! I thoroughly enjoyed every single duel between Mika and Schumi all though ’97, ’98, ’99 and ’00. Mika had a bad season peppered with multiple engine failures, technical glitches and pure bad luck in some cases (running out of fuel in the last corner in the US GP), that resulted in a decision that saddened many souls, a retirement from F1.
I admired Senna, Hill, Lauda, Villeneuve and Mika. To me, they were demi gods of speed, people who could flip a car sideways and maintain the same speed and pull off eye popping moves that got the viewer’s adrenalin pumped up in no time!! No wonder Steve Slater acts as if he has an orgasm every time he sees something scarlet flash by on the monitor!! I genuinely cried my guts out when Senna crashed, beat my fists out when Villeneuve missed the world championship and was depressed for an entire month when I heard Mika retired. Now, since I heard Schumi is planning to go too, somehow I can’t help but feel bad. After all, he was a part of providing all the excitement, the curses, the swearing which resulted in pumped up races and championships that were nail biting till Suzuka!! A genuine speedster who was never fully understood in his time. Go on man, I will miss you!! I Really will man!! I mean it!!
August 01
The inevitable has happened!!! :D
Well!! We have done it!! After 5 long years of courtship, hardship, love, hate, biting, scratching, kicking, abusing and so on and so forth, me and swapna have finally tied the knot on the 6th of this month!! Before you start screaming you were'nt informed, read eariler posts!! Was clearly mentioned!! Married life is very much like bachelor life, except that i get to wear this funky ring / bracelet / chain (personally i feel it's too much of jewellery!!) and i no more have to return to cuddle the pillow and go to sleep!! The plus point here is that now we get to setup our own house (which is still in the process of being renovated!!) and we can actualy "party" without interrruptions from FIL about time restrictions!!! Yipeeeeeeeee for that!!!
Life has just been a rollercoaster ride since the 1st of the month!! More like living out of suitcases!! One day in tirupati, one day here, one day there!! wow!! I still can't beleive i travelled so much in so little time!! We went for a long deserved rest from everyone (office included!!) to a resort called Poovar Island resort in Kerala. I have linked the site along and i shall let the pictures do the talking here!! The english vocabulary has too little words to describe the scenic splendour this lovely backwater island!! We stayed in a 'floating cottage' that was mounted on 5 solid timber logs andwas actually floating on the water!! It was securely tied with ropes on all four ends so that we don't float away into the sea!! The view from the cottage was fantabulous!! The food was too good to describe!! I happily put on a solid 4 kilos of weight in 1 week!! A bit of advice of people who suffer from sea sickness, STAY AWAY FROM THIS RESORT!!!
We enjoyed a candle light dinner, wine, dancing, shopping, a sunset sea cruise and basically had a whale of a time for a single week without worrying about the outside world!! Nice time!! Plan to repeat it again next year!! Well, life's moving on at such great speeds thati am finding it really hard to type events in sequence!! I will type them as they come!! Cheers till then!!
June 23
The Da Machi code!!
I found this way too funny!! Had to be here!!!
PRELUDE:
Robert Lingam I.P.S (Vijayakanth) visits Madurai to deliver a lecture in college about public safety. The head pujari of Meenakshi temple is murdered. He was stabbed to death, but before dying he lies down in the robotic break dance position next to a Shiva lingam, the message clearly being "call Robert lingam". He had also smashed the breasts of a goddess statue and hung a bell with a chain from her hip. Also clutched in his hand is the Congress party manifesto with the 49% reservation for OBCs underlined with his blood.
Pujari's grand daughter Mahalakshmi (Sneha) had just returned from USA with a degree in cryptology, symbology, singing and group-dance. She cuts short her weekend trip to Chennai and returns to Madurai upon the murder.
She meets Commissioner Lingam at the murder site and together embark to solve the murder and in the process "witness the biggest cover up in Hindu history". "My 'Thaatha' used to insist that me and my brother play hide and seek inside the temple", said Mahalakshmi. "Why the congress manifesto? Why the underlining on the reservation part? Was your thaatha going to lose his job as head-priest to an OBC candidate?” puzzled look on Lingam's face with knit eyebrows."Thaatha always said reservation was plain bull shit"
"What?"
"Bull shit - very rarely he used English but whenever this topic used to come up, he wud use that term" Lingam's eyes lit up. "That's the clue...yes, bull shit, oh Rama how did I miss that", excited he clutches Mahalakshmi's wrist as they bolt out of the murder scene. "Where is the biggest Nandi bull statue in this temple complex?"
"By the east gate"
"Let's go".................
Lingam put his hand into the orifice which was the asshole of the Nandi bull statue. His fingers felt the cold touch of an ancient palm leaf. Pulling it out Lingam attempted to read under the flickering light of the solitary lamp post nearby. Neatly written in outdated Tamil script were the lines,
"Kai Anchu, Vaai Nooru Periya bookukule oru chinna book"
"Ah", Lingam sighed.
"What does it mean?"
"I have heard both these lines before...but in a very different context"
Lingam looked skywards for some divine intervention to help him solve this new clue. Towering into the skyline in front of him as dawn was breaking, was the tall gopuram of the temple. Quickly turning around, a smile danced on Lingam's lips as his sight fell on all the five towers. "The five towers, phallic symbols...the five Pandava brothers, we need to get to a library, I need to see the original copy of the Kama sutra", "this early in the morning?" asked Mahalakshmi as they hurried towards Lingam's jeep.
As they jeep hurtled towards the town library, Lingam explained, "Few temples in India are famous for their erotic art and architecture. The kings built those to encourage population growth. For centuries, there have been rumors of a secret society that guarded a secret behind such art and symbols, a secret so powerful that if revealed would shake the very foundations of conservative culture."
COMING SOON TO A SCREEN NEAR YOU....
WITNESS THE GREATEST COVER UP IN HINDU HISTORY
A SECRET SO DEVASTATING THAT IF REVEALED COULD LEAD TO EVEN MORE CATACLISMIC POPULATION EXPLOSION.....
WAS THE MOST NOTORIOUS PIECE OF INDIAN LITERATURE ORIGINALLY PART OF THE GREATEST EPIC POEM EVER WRITTEN?
WERE THE MEN AND WOMEN OF THE KAMASUTRA THE SAME GODS AND GODDESSES GLORIFIED IN ANCIENT TEXTS?
CONTINUING WITH THE MODERN INDIAN TRADITION OF BLATANTLY APING THE WEST....
A.M.RATNAM PRESENTS
CAPTAIN in
THE DA MACHI CODE
'SO CORNY A DARK MAN'
May 05
Observations in an interview
After a very long time, i got an interview call from one of the bigwigs in the software industry!! They promised me a day shift, a salary that was very close to the 6 digits per month, and company provided housing and transportation!! All this lure to get me away from MS!! I initially was hesitant, but finally gave in to the temptation!! So off i went, last monday to attend this interview, which i was sure would change my life!! And change it did!!
As i entered the hallowed halls of fame, dot at 9 AM and looked around the place. Immaculate marble flooring, centrally air conditioned to a lovely temperature, security cams that neatly fitted into the walls like little ornaments, luxurious leather sofas that screamed 'get spoilt'!! Wow!! Felt like paradise!! I comfortably seated myself in one of these contraptions and looked around. The general atmosphere around me was 'feel important' kinds!! I also noticed many other hopefuls sitting around for interviews. Looking confident, like young leaders, raring to take on the world! Each one with an aura of superiority around them. Probably Yem Bee Yays from some heavy duty schools abroad i thought!! I was still woozy in the head mainly because I work in the night shift, studied hard for this interview and completely did not sleep even for a second!! Was trying hard to concentrate on my surroundings!!
Looked harder this time, to my left were 2 other girls, probably from some recruiting agency, holding lists of probables. Right next to them, like flies over (you know what!!) were scores of young chaps milling around with excitement!! Probably their first chance to work for a huge company I thought. To my right was a second batch of the hopeful youngsters, completely from college. I could see from their caps being backwards, the bright, loose hanging tees and multi pocketed cargo pants 3-4 sizes larger than their waist!! Threatening to fall off the minute they moved their feets too quick!! flashy shoes, earrings, all bajango ishtyle!! Further right was a cute looking girl who was obviously flirting with a guy who seemed to keep looking left and right every microsecond to see if anyone was watching him!! He must have thought this was his lucky day or something!! All blushes on a face as dark as the moonless sky and to top it all he was actually drawing circles with his toe on the ground!! How much more idotic can this get!!! I refused to look further in their direction and turned away. Thats when i saw her!!
Trotting high like a prized thoroughbred, beautiful cheek bones, eyebrows that seemed to be precise and streaked with touches of kohl, complete and full eyelashes that were also lined perfectly, shading those lovely oak brown eyes!! She was fantastic, like an angel who just dropped by from the skies above!! I must have been gaping with my mouth open and for some silly reason I thought she was walkin up to me!! I blinked once more and looked again!! Oh yes!! she was definitely walking straight to me!! "Are you Arun Krishnamurthy?" she asks. I just gape as though some one hit me with a sledge hammer!! Question repeats, this time I am sure I am not dreaming and answer in the positive! "how nice to meet you! I am Sahana, the HR for this company!" Instantly I feel the urge to get this interview done a success by hook or crook!!!
She runs through quick CV of herself and her role in the organisation, i paid no heed to it. Was outright staring into those lovely kohl lined eyes. Guess she noticed! "Ah! You seem to speak very little, some coffee?" she blurts. As a response we walk down the hall into the cafeteria. I don't know why, but today, I am totally speechless. The coffee was the best I had tasted in recent times. All this while, she is talking and i am gaping!! An abrupt halt comes in the question, "so, tell me about yourself, I am boring you with my story!" I am dumbstruck!! I felt as if mouth was taped up and sealed from inside with Fevi Kwik!! But the sly fox in me silently gulped the coffee to get some time to think!! I gave her a breif description of my job profile, my earlier jobs, certifications yadda yadda and she seemed pretty impressed!! "Great profile man!! You are definitely the one we are lookin for!! Have a seat in the lobby, I'll be right back" and she moves away!! I still am holding the half cup of coffee watching her walk into the distance! *sigh!*
I get back to my seat. My observations begin again. More intently this time because the coffee has woken me up!! Look around to the right and 'flirty girl' has moved away from the 'toe-to-heel-hole-digger' guy!! She is now with someone else. One of the college ishtyle fellas! He seems to be enjoying every single minute of it by guffawing loudly in an otherwise pin drop silent ambience!! I look outside, temperature is soaring in the mid 40's now!! Most of the guys to my left have already gone. Rejected faces, gloomy moods ensue. Poor fellows i felt, must have had real high hopes to get in. I look back and the 'dude' who was laughing is not laughing any more. Sahana is right next to him telling him something. From his reactions i can guess he is a goner. But he still takes it in his stride. I mean, who can show any kind of gloominess when a gorgeous girl tells you that you are rejected!! Male ego i say!! Hehehe!! The quick chat is over and he turns around expecting to find the girl still standing there, but no, she is back to her seat flirting with candidate no. 1 who apparently made it through the first round!! "Dude' harrrumphs and walks away into the blistering heat!
I wait patiently and not very much later, Sahana comes by. Beeline to me. Sits down right beside and continues chatting. I hear voices in my head, "Bob, you are engaged, careful man!" I know i am treading a very thin line, but still maintain my composure. I don't know what we talked about but it was all done in 5 minutes flat. After that, a moment... Both of us were looking straight, eye to eye, no words, no blinking... just gazing into the depths each others eyes!! The feeling was electric!! I had no words to speak and was transfixed to my spot. For a whole 2 minutes, the scenery around me faded away, the flirty girl and the hole digging guy vanished, the air conditioning and the pretty little security cams just melted away into the creamy walls!! Just gazing!! Finally i break away from the stare, partly because I felt it misleading and partly because I was called for my technical interview by that loud booming voice of the security guy!! (damn i hate him!! :D )
As i get up to go, she follows, every step. I pause outside the interview hall, to make any last minute sweat sweeps of my forehead. She is still watching. I know I have to go, but i cannot move, I dont know why!! Finally she gives me a "good luck" push into the hall and the door slowly closes on her pretty face. Still gazing!! The next 30 minutes was one of the most horrid sessions i ever faced!! For many reason, i was forced to think Sahana was earlier trying to calm me so that i can face this mental abuse!! Questions being fired left, right, centre and up my a**!! I was trying my best to keep up, but even with my best answers, i fumbled and stuttered. I knew it right from the first question that this interview was going to be tough, really tough. Finally after a grilling of 30 minutes by 6 different people, I am asked to wait outside. I walk fast, just short of breaking into a jog, out of the room! Nervous and completely finshed off!! I need a smoke and some coffee, real hot and strong!!
She is standing there, as if she knew i was coming and led me straight to the canteen. I am crest fallen, unable to see that beautiful face who is asking me so many questions at the same time, and i'm not answering. I talk in whispered tones, about the total ripping apart of my brains in interview hall, about my nervousness, about my wooziness in the head, about my need for a smoke and a coffee right now! We walked outside, although it was hot, we found a nice tree which offered some shade. I lit up, she to my surprise she did too!! We enjoyed the next 10 minutes of cooling down with nicotine and tar breathing through our veins. I finally relax and we manage to talk some things about bangalore (her place) and lifestyles. Finally decided to get back in the cool climes of the office. She assures me everything would be fine and walks away into the interview hall. I lounge back into the luxurious and pampering sofa!!
About 5 minutes later she arrives, I can make out from those pretty eyes that she is not carrying good news. The inevitable had hapened, I was rejected. I was expecting this all along, but when she told me this face to face, I could actually see the genuine sadness deep in the eyes. "Well, life has to move on" I say and start to pick up my bag and helmet. She stammered something incoherent for a second, and i looked up. "It was really nice knowing you man, I really had the impression that all chennai guys were sidey charecters!!" I was shell shocked!! But for some reason, those eyes were looking straight into mine and i could not react to a statement being made about my city folks!! I simply smiled and started my walk back. She followed me to the door and right at the end "If you don't mind, this is my personal number in bangalore, I would love to meet up when you are there" and pushes me her visiting card! I again grinned and walked back to the bike. Trinity was there, waiting for me, her silver self, shining even more brightly in the sunlight! One kick and we both are off!! All the way back home, I was thinking about my little meeting. Those eyes, they semed so familiar, so romantic, so homely, so ready to talk and friendly. They displayed all the emotions without moving a muscle in the face.. *sigh*
I wheeled the bike back into the parking lot of my apartment and walked up home, still thinking about those eyes!! I went up to see the house was not locked, meaning someone was inside. I ring the bell and wait. The door opens very slightly. I push my way through and Swapna is standing there waiting for me!! I look again.......the same eyes!! Now i know why i was so fascinated!! They belonged to the love of my life!!!
March 04
July 6th down the years.....
Hmmmm...... How do i start?? This date is very very special to me in many ways!! Recent developments also seem to happen somehow only on this date!! People who know me know how absent minded I am, but when it comes to photographic memory, i am till date unbeaten (except by the photographs of course!!)
July 6th 2001 - A very very special date in my life, in fact I would say, the day that started it all!! Not what you are thinking silly!! I got my first job in a company called Hot-Source on this date!! It was run by AJ's dad, who decided to make me Systems Admin (start chin scratching now!!) despite my lack of experience and duh!! about macintosh machines!! (ok enough of chin scratching! He still doesn't regret employing me!! so there!!) This also was a day when i had a first look at the things that were to change my view of computers altogether!! Yes, THE MACINTOSH!!! Enough words of praise have been heaped upon Steve Jobs and his creations, so I shall not bore you any more with any descriptions!! In short they leave PC's standing there with their pants down!! Simple! This day was celebrated in many ways by friends and family as the 'eldest' has matured to start working!! I am ever grateful to AJ's dad, Mr. Chellappa for always being there when I needed him and keeping me in his safe arms and out of harms (read big bosses!!) reach!! Also the date of new friends in the office, Stanly, the office in-charge, in particular, who had spent many sleepless nights sitting beside me whilst i learnt the intricacies of a Mac (all by myself). Poor man used to finish off a pack of mini gold flakes and about a dozen teas by the time I got out!! Still brings back memories of working through the night, innumerable backups to be done, upgradation of machines, servicing some, cleaning some, throwing some out of the window in sheer frustration!! (ok i was kidding there!! macs are costly man!!) Feels real silly sometimes but I don't regret it!!
July 6th 2002 - A huge party with family for celebrating my first year of completion in office!! Clearly remember getting piss drunk, fighting with Swapna over the phone and wobbling all over the house trying to find my bed to crash!! In the bargain, crashed on to the basin, broke it, cut my calf muscle in 2 places, one required 4 stitches!! Also remember limping to office the next day!! Also on this very day, I named Trinity and did her up cosmetically by doing away with the fairing, the double brembo discs, the alloy wheels, the racing sprockets and also the K&N air filters!! Looked like a mint RD350 out of the factory!! Loved that look and always will !!
July 6th 2003 - My first time travelling on office expense!! Went on an official trip to Delhi! Was a lovely train ride! No work for a full week!! Had great fun there!! Saw most of Delhi, courtesy an office colleague called Deepak. He took time off and cared to show me around all of Delhi without even hesitiating!! The poor fellow had just married and since I was down there, made it a point to come to work at 9 AM sharp!! The story that I always beat him on timing is a different one altogether, but still!!!
July 6th 2004 - My first time flying for less than 500 bucks one way!!! A lot happened at this year, I quit Hot-Source to join Satyam computers in Hyderabad. A low cost airline called Deccan airways was giving away tickets for 500 bucks one way to any place!! Grabbed a couple of tickets and flew down to chennai. I can still remember the expression on Mom's face!! I called her up an hour earlier and told her i was leaving for home. She reasoned it must be the one at Hyderabad! An hour and few minutes later I was standing at the doorstep all teeth grinning!! Absolute chaos ensued as even Swapna was at my place and did not expect me there!! HAHAAA!! I love scaring people!!!
July 6th 2005 - My First promotion!! I quit Satyam to join Microsoft in January of 2006. I joined as a trainee research engineer and got a promotion in july to Sr. Operations Specialist!! Was a great feeling as these documents were handed over to me by Jeff Heinsen. He was the Service Delivery Manager of Microsoft. Still treasure that photo!! That brings me to a pondering thought!! Of all the photos I have with dignitaries, I looked dazed. The truth is i probably am, but I clearly remember grinning widely for Jeffs's photo. The result was a beaming Jeff Heinsen with a doped looking me standing next to him!! Beats me why that happened!!
July 6th 2006 - Waiting........... ok ok!! i won't act bullish!! Yes! I am getting married on this very date!! MUHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! An accomplishment by itself in many ways!! Fristly if you managed to read through this entirely hopeless, humourless, cranky blog I typed and secondly as I practically did not have to do anything to convince Swapna's parents!! They came, they talked (i kept mum!! ), they decided "he's the 'right' guy" and fixed dates!! See!! I ain't so bad as you think I am!! Of course i can be worse, but we'll save that for a later date!!
The 6th of July!! Wow!! I least expected this date to make such radical changes in my life!! Changes I will never regret but have happily learnt to accept as they come!! I am living life to completely (A man is never complete until he is married, after that he is finished!! ) Hope Swapna doesn't read this!! On second thoughts let her!! After all if I'm getting bashed, I might as well pull her along and get her some bashing too!!) HEHEEEEEE
December 31
The war of sexes......
My friend has been fighting with her boyfriend. "Why?" I ask her. "Oh, no reason. It's no fault of his. But you should just scream at the man every now and then. It keeps them on their toes, you get some added respect and the apologies are always fun. What???? This is my friend talking ladies and gentleman and aghast is the word that comes to my mind.I've always been a mere witness to the games between the two sexes and have been terrible at playing them myself. At best you can call me a good observer. Sometimes I've been an unwilling referee when two dating friends came up with "Ok! You tell us whose fault it is?" But when it comes to playing these games myself, I've always been at a loss of moves. And I don't think it's just me - I think that men in general are at a slight disadvantage when it comes to relationship games. I've seen some of my male friends play the marriage card successfully where the man emotionally blackmails the "by-then aged girlfriend" with the line "Give me few more years and I'll surely marry you." But that's all that I've seen the mustached sex do. So I decided to list some of the classic moves women use (or at least I've seen them use) that completely unnerves men; makes them jittery; makes them rush for the closest bar or bathroom; makes them realize that the battle of the sexes is hardly a battle but more like an action movie climax - where you know who'll win but still watch it, just in search of possible novelty.
1. You have changed. Yes! A classic line that completely shocks men and women use it with such dexterity. Men have no idea what this means. Every now and then you see your lady love all serious and grumpy and on questioning her all you get is "You have changed." But that's it. There's never an accompanying explanation to how you've changed. So you are left with the dual task of figuring out how you've changed and how to redeem yourself and till you do that, the woman rules.
2. I'm having girl problems. Now please don't think that I'm an unsympathetic wretch. I know women and men are different (thank you high school for explaining things to me). All I'm saying is that men get very jittery when women use this line. Coz men have no idea what women go through at these times and they also have no idea how they'll react. So we get completely freaked out. One of my exes used this line more often than I thought she should and EVERY time it gave me the shivers. Coz I knew she could get away with murder then (and trust me she did try it a few times). All I'm saying is that maybe even men should be given a day or two every year (JUST a day or two) when we can do stuff, and if questioned, bluntly reply "Man problems bonami, man problems!"
3. Nobody has ever treated me this way (said best when you add a "not my mother, not my brother, not my ex ..." at the end). Another classic. Every man who has been in a relationship long enough hears these words at some point. And to be very honest it means nothing. For all you know it might be a good thing. Something like "You treat me so well, nobody has ever treated me this way." But NO. It never is. It always means something scary and men know that and the moment they hear it they know that it's apology time.
4. You don't love me any more. They should just ban this line. Or have something similar that men can use. For three years you could be cleaning her doormat. Forget doing it for one day and she'll tell you "You don't love me any more". If it's your bad day she'll even add No. 1 i.e. "You have changed." Aaaaaah!
5. You should learn something from XYZ (and XYZ is normally a close friend whom you dislike). That's it. This one freaks men out completely. Coz not only do you feel inadequate, you also feel threatened by XYZ. And women just love that.Quite a few more techniques come to mind but this post is already too long and the women readers stopped reading quite a while back. I agree, I have changed a lot :)
December 02
Updates..
A lot has happened in the past month. some highlights include an off roading experience with the chennai Jeep club. A nightmare in some ways, but absolute unadulterated fun in a lot of other ways!! The pictures of the same can be found in my photo album
About 5 of my close friends tied the knot, which inevitably brings my dates closer to the ceremony!! (at least thats what my family feels about it!!) I had to travel out of city to a remote village in Karaikudi. This was a marriage of one of my college mates called Arun Nagappan. The wedding was a great crowd puller, the entire village was roped in for the act!!! I thought stuff like this hapens only in movies but no, it was great fun to watch young and old acting like family and helping out the marriage be a grand success!! The village was the heart of "chettinad" land!! Which means not only did i get to see all the colourful and humongous houses (each house spans 80 grounds, thats approximately 2-2.5 acres!!!), i got the exclusive privilige of being a part of the elite crowd by visiting palaces of kings of yore, which the average citizen (read villager) would'nt dare dream about!! All this in the name of being a "city slicker"!! This also meant that the treatment meted out to us was nothing less than royal!! A seperate guest house, food and drinks 24/7, a jeep or a car to where ever we wanted to go anytime! To keep it short, the 2 days we spent there was in absolute bliss and treament made us spoilt silly!! Your's truly was more than happy with the company of Jack Daniels and Remi Martin!!
My best friend from school Ravi, was back from the US of A and we spent some quality time together. I roped in the company of AJ and all 3 of us went to a nice punjabi dhaba for lunch (accompanied for a short burst of time by Swapna) and then a good game of snooker in one of our friends snooker parlours!! As people in the US would state, "spending some time with the boys!!"
Chennai is raining cats and dogs!! In fact, raining is an inappropriate term for it, its pouring!! Trinity is safely tucked up in the covers inside my shed. Don't want unnecessary rust and grime to affect the poor thing!! I've had my eyes on 2 other bikes for the past week, one being a Yezdi 250 CLII and another being an Enfeild Fury GP 175. Both are in immaculate condition and i am more than tempted to pull them both in!! But alas, fate had other plans!! My scooter mechanic called up last evening. Apparently he wants some cash and asked me if i was interested in taking back my old scooter!! Now thats something i would really love to do as it's a Lamby Polo 150 and more importantly was the apple of my dad's eye!! Unfortunately i was too immature and i sold it to him about 10 years back!! Now i'm in a dilemma, either the scooter or the bikes. Going emotionally i would pick the scooter, but if i think practically i would go in for the Yezdi!! Fack it, I'll buy both!!!
November 08
Why do we ride?? A bikers perspective
Why We Ride??
There is cold, and there is cold on a motorcycle. Cold on a motorcycle is like being beaten with cold hammers while being kicked with cold boots, a bone bruising cold. The wind's big hands squeeze the heat out of my body and whisk it away; caught in a cold October rain, the drops don't even feel like water. They feel like shards of bone fallen from the skies of Hell to pock my face. I expect to arrive with my cheeks and forehead streaked with blood, but that's just an illusion, just the misery of nerves not designed for highway speeds. Despite this, it's hard to give up my motorcycle in the fall and I rush to get it on the road again in the spring; lapses of sanity like this are common among motorcyclists. When you let a motorcycle into your life you're changed forever. The letters "MC" are stamped on your driver's license right next to your sex and weight as if "motorcycle" was just another of your physical characteristics, or maybe a mental condition. But when warm weather finally does come around all those cold snaps and rainstorms are paid in full because a motorcycle summer is worth any price. A motorcycle is not just a two-wheeled car; the difference between driving a car and climbing onto a motorcycle is the difference between watching TV and actually living your life. We spend all our time sealed in boxes and cars are just the rolling boxes that shuffle us languidly from home-box to work-box to store- box and back, the whole time, entombed in stale air, temperature regulated, sound insulated, and smelling of carpets. On a motorcycle I know I'm alive. When I ride, even the familiar seems strange and glorious. The air has weight and substance as I push through it and its touch is as intimate as water to a swimmer. I feel the cool wells of air that pool under trees and the warm spokes of sunlight that fall through them. I can see everything in a sweeping 360 degrees, up, down and around, wider than Pana- Vision and higher than IMAX and unrestricted by ceiling or dashboard. Sometimes I even hear music. It's like hearing phantom telephones in the shower or false doorbells when vacuuming; the pattern-loving brain, seeking signals in the noise, raises acoustic ghosts out of the wind's roar. But on a motorcycle I hear whole songs: rock 'n roll, dark orchestras, women's voices, all hidden in the air and released by speed. At 60 kilometer per hour and up, smells become uncannily vivid. All the individual tree-smells and flower-smells and grass-smells flit by like chemical notes in a great plant symphony.
Sometimes the smells evoke memories so strongly that it's as though the past hangs invisible in the air around me, wanting only the most casual of rumbling time machines to unlock it. A ride on a summer afternoon can border on the rapturous. The sheer volume and variety of stimuli is like a bath for my nervous system, an electrical massage for my brain, a systems check for my soul. It tears smiles out of me: a minute ago I was dour, depressed, apathetic, numb, but now, on two wheels, big, ragged, windy smiles flap against the side of my face, billowing out of me like air from a decompressing plane. Transportation is only a secondary function. A motorcycle is a joy machine. It's a machine of wonders, a metal bird, a motorized prosthetic. It's light and dark and shiny and dirty and warm and cold lapping over each other; it's a conduit of grace, it's a catalyst for bonding the gritty and the holy. I still think of myself as a motorcycle amateur, but by now I've had a handful of bikes over half a dozen years and slept under my share of bridges. I wouldn't trade one second of either the good times or the misery. Learning to ride was one of the best things I've done. Cars lie to us and tell us we're safe, powerful, and in control. The air-conditioning fans murmur empty assurances and whisper, "Sleep, sleep." motorcycles tell us a more useful truth: we are small and exposed, and probably moving too fast for our own good, but that's no reason not to enjoy every minute of the ride.
A true blooded biker
Bobby
October 17
October 13th.....
Hmm... I walked out that morning expecting fireworks, celebrations all around, people screaming my name until they became hoarse.. Unfortunately nothing of that sort happened!! The cheif minister did not even declare a state holiday!! I was not even greeted with a garland!! Yes.. it was my birthday!! No one responded!! The only one who actually seemed to know and care was my girlfriend, who promptly called up at 12 AM and wished me!! The cute thing went on to go ahead and buy me a set of decent looking clothes and a smart office bag!! (according to her, my backpack which i carry to office made me look like a hiker who was on his way to office!!) Her best friend carried on the honours by calling me up from london and wishing me! Spoke for a good length of time. I don't understand why, but somehow we seem to connect on the 'talk' factor!! I don't manage to talk with swapna for a very long time, we seem to run outta topics oh so easily!! but this gal is non stop!! someone who is fun to talk to!! a fact that she was a radio jockey for some time also has a major influence on this habit me thinks!! anyways, surpirsingly as compared to last year, many seemed to have convieniently forgotten!! it's ok, they will find out one day and load me with gifts i am sure!! hehehe!! Mom and bro gave me a dressing down on the Ipod i requested and got me a gold chain (which i am scared of wearing after learning about the cost of it!!) No one else gave me any stuff. Not that i expected any, but still!! hmm.... My best buddy is down from the US, and i am such an ass that i have spoken exactly 11 sentences to him and spent 22 minutes with him!! will make up for it this weekend!! Office still is not great news!! nothing happening!! I am planning to say Osama is linked with us at Microsoft or we tested our new Windows OS which caused the Paki earthquake hoping that might bring some life to these dead dodos here!! Nothing more.... nothing less... lets see what this week holds for me!!
October 05
Yercaud trip and other thoughts....
It's been ages since i blogged, so i thought i might as well as add wots been going on since the last time. Once of my closest friends got married on the 18th of last month. She's been a friend since i was 4 years old. Actually her dad and mine were best buddies in the Advertising club. Carried on through the generations!! Anyways, coming to the marriage, it was amazingly quiet. No hungama, no jing bang parties.. nothing!! Made me wonder if this was a south indian marriage after all!! It was held in Dakshin Chitra, an artistic village on the East Coast Road in Chennai. Incidentally, that is where i proposed my marriage and reception be held!!! Idea's don't stay in my head i guess!!! I had a nice ride up and down that lovely stretch of road and enjoyed every bit of it!! News after that was Swapna's parents know about our relationship of 5 years and are the verge of us accepting. So within a short span of time, i would be sending all the readers of this blog a little invitation to park your rears at the wedding and party hard!!
Last saturday, approximately at about 5.30 in the morning, i met up with the Madras Bulls, and we went riding to Yercaud!! The occasion being, The Rolling Thunder Motorcycling Club (RTMC) was celebrating it's 4th year of thumping!!! The ride was absolutely stunning!! There were about 30 Bullets, all riding in formation, cruising down the airport road, all en route to Yeercaud!! Quite a sight aka Harley Davidson style!! Yours truly was unfortunately given a good dressing down no how unruly RD 350's were on the road and how much fuel they require to get to Yercaud. End Result: A sad me had to drop off my bike at a friends place and sit pillion with another buddy Manoaj (thats how his name's spelt!!) better known as Dosai!!
Before the ride, i was constantly lamenting on how the politicians used to eat up our money, the taxes and releif funds and all crap. All that was put to a dumbstruck stop once i hit the NH 45!!! The road was so frickin good, it can be easily qualified as a Formula 1 track!! AMAZING WORK BOYZ!!! Absolutely smooth and double fenced on both sides, so that the irritating dogs and cats and other fauna don't get in the way of speeding automobiles!! Dream road to ride on!!
We crossed Chengelpet in record time and we were looking at reaching Yercaud at about 2 in the afternoon with the speeds we were belting. No sooner we had this thought, we noticed a rider (Sebin) stranded!! The first break down of the ride. About 5 of us stopped and flagged on the rest to carry on. We then sat to the ardorous task of removing the back wheel of this bulky baby. To top all this the dude had huge side carriers et all typical cruiser style, an did not even carry a single tool!! Not even a spare tube!! To add some more salt on the wound, news reached us that 100 yards downhill, another bull had developed clutch problems (Abizer)!!
A puncture shop was located very nearby and Sebin's tyre was given for treatment. The clutch problem was rectified by a few experts (Sachin, Sarangan) and by this time Sebin's bike developed a puncture again!! Enter a new tube from a fellow biker Brijesh and about an hour and 45 minutes later we were back on the road. This time Sebin overtook all of us and zoomed on to catch up with the lead group. We had a solid biking session with speeds regularly touching the 3 digit mark!! All in formation!!
So after all this hungama, to pick up conversation (you know sitting pillion is kinda boring after some time!!) i asked Dosai how much more to Yercaud. "don't worry machan, we will be there soon at this speed, only 4 hours more!!" No sooner said, we notice Sebin standing by the side of the road!!! ANOTHER PUNCTURE!!! Words cannot describe the frustration felt here!! We just left him with another dude who cut a clutch cable and carried on so that they can catch up later.
The rest of the ride was another major rocketing session with people taking turns in leading the pack and showing how fast we can cover ground!! Sometimes we even saw how fast we covered the air you know like flying jets do!! All this was courtesy Dosai who regularly failed to look out for bumps on the road which resulted in me being airborne innumberable times!! Thankfully the Bullet suspension was forgiving and my butt and back were spared the spanking and sprain sessions!!
About 2 hours of non stop riding saw us stop for muthu's bike, which developed a exhaust valve seizure!! About an hour of intense work by Sarangan (an aircraft mechanic incidentally) saw Muthu's bike come back to life and this ensured my butt was safe and well rested for the journey ahead. Also it was a time to catch up on lost breakfast, a quick snooze from Ranga and yours truly was never happier sleeping on a T-Bird, legs stretched and listening to Nirvana!!
Back to racing down the highway, this time thankfully no one had any trouble on the road and we reached the Ghat roads in good time. IST 3.30 PM!!! There we met up a few Bulls including Ranga who raced ahead and were waiting for us. Back to formation riding and the 26 kms upwards was one of the best drives i had ever seen!!! Me and dosai made sure that every bend was well attended to and all the Bulls followed in unison!! There was not a single Bullet which did not scrape it's stands on the road on ALL THE BENDS!!! Quite a sight to see when there are dozens of sparks flying all over the place!! Not to forget the innumberable butterflies that kept flying around signifying "Paradise" was close by!!
Within 20 minutes, we were all in the cool climes of Yercaud!! Lovely and astounding!! With the cheers of fellow riders who had already made it to the summit and waiting for us with bated breath!! Loud howls and catcalls later, all the boys were assembled in the "Shevaroy" inn for registration and excited disussions of riding stories. Long lost friends caught up with screams that Michael Jackson to shame!! Innumberable number of abuses later (each other for not keeping in touch!!) we all settled for Lunch. Lovely biryani ensued with Ranga providing entertainment with his Leh ride stories and the occasional threat of "unsubscribing" those who did not turn up for 3 or more rides!!
When all this happened we were joined by Adrian, Vodka and a few others who roared in on RD's!! (yes i am grinning!!). More cat calls and howls ensue!! Finally "puncture" Sebin walks in with a look so innocent that would make a new born look like Samantha fox!!
A well deserved rest followed by incessant banter over bikes, modifications, recent findings and so on. Later at about 8.30ish the party was starting to get into place with Rocky, Pallavi, Freya, Dosai, Adrian, Vodka and DJ Zureil making sure people were not resting their rears on the seats provided!! A huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge cake was cut commemerating the event and in typical bullet style, Prashi rode in a bullet from outside right into the heart of the dance floor!!! Yes, i said RODE IN!!! That made sure all hell was unleashed!!! Wild dancing, weird angles of photographs, a trillion flashlights, an amazing sound system coupled with litres and litres of booze made sure that everyone was at their rocking best!!
Points worth mentioning here are Prashi's ride in on the bullet, Dosai's scandalous "lungi" dance!!!, a girl (whose name i forgot) dancing round and round the bullet parked there!! KJ's chair dance with me holding the chair so that he does not fall off!! Adrians' strip club dance!!! Ranga's lungi dance which despite all his major moves still stuck on to him and amazingly did not fall off!! Kudos!!! And not to forget the helmet dance!!
By this time yours truly was high on a mixture of beer, whiskey, rum and lovely dope!! A jing bang dance later i was too pooped to talk and ran straight to dinner!! Ate like a pig!!! and made sure the fellas who were with me also did the same!! Hit the bed at around 1 AM!! Most of the fellas were tired and hit the sack around the same time. News later, as Dosai told me was that he along with other bikers were talkin until 5 AM!!
Woke up to the ungainly sounds of my roommate (Pravin) puking in the bathroom!! Checked out the time and found it was 7.30 AM!! The weather was so inviting and refreshing with that fresh morning air with a hint of mountain dew (not the drink silly!!) around it!! Walked out to find other bikers getting ready for the journey back. Chit chat with others followed with the most heavenly breakfast i've had in recent years. Pongal, Idlies and buttered bread with omlettes!! Polished off 3 platefulls keeping in mind the fact that sometimes Dosai goes crazy and might just decide to drive nonstop skipping lunch!!
We were the penultimate group to leave Yercaud as Sachin and gang were fixing up Muthu's bike which had some push rod problems. So Dosai+me, Arul, Surya, Aditya and Jai started our descent back to urban chaos!! Midway, Jai races ahead with me asking Dosai a question as to why he was not following the formation. No sooner i had finished the statement, we turn into a sweeping left hander to see a stationary bus and people running across the road!! I thought the worst had happened!! Jai was lying down there in the ditch and the minute i ran to him, he sat up (much to my releif!!) and was rubbing his ankle vigourously!! The bullet was comically standing straight!!! damage done was a broken silencer pipe, a bent crash guard, missing footpegs, broken clutch, torn jackets, slashed palms / wrists and a bruised ego!!
We moved on downhill, still enjoying the good views and climate and let Jai into the city to scout for spares (he said he knew some place and would catch up later) So the 4 of us decided to put the incident behind us and burn some rubber!! again speeds in excess of 100 kmph saw us cover long distances in record time. At this point of time, we decided to stop once place and wait for Jai to catch up. The tree we sat under was so inviting that a 10 minute halt eventually resulted in a 1 and half hour halt!!! No sign of Jai and we moved on. Here's when Surya's awesome burnout happened!! check mails and pictures!! Had a good race with a Scorpio, then a Honda City and lastly a Hero honda Passion. All 3 were put in their rightful places!! Behind our asses!!
Lunch saw us in some god forsaken dhaba which is where Jai eventually caught up with us!! Here, we learnt of Goldies and Arun's accident and the duo of Jai and Surya sped away to investigate without having lunch!! We enjoyed our lunch and moved on. Now that we were down to just 3 bikes, moving at a rapid pace came easily and we reached the outskirts of Chennai at about 6.30 PM. It was a straight run to the Amethyst, our "cheap" coffee pub and then another run to the Besant Nagar beach. A peaceful smoke and much discussion later, we were joined by Sachin who was the last to leave from Yercaud. It was the most breathtaking ride i had ever been to and best of all I could walk into office on Monday with a sprightly step without any damage to my rear after 700 kms of pillion on a Thunderbird!!!
Ride on Mad bulls!!!!
August 26
The Fart Identity!!
Don't question me why!! I just thought i would write about it thats all!! . Many of us seem to think of the farting habit as taboo, gross and downright repulsive!! Oh yes!! Most of us do feel we were right in that notion too!! After all who would like a rip roaring sound emanating from our rear, to top it all in public!! But trust me, i've seen generations of 'master farters' and definitely negate that opinion of yours even before you start thinking you were right!! It starts from way back.....
Long long ago... ok not so long ago!! My Grandad, dad's side!! He could let go at will!! All you needed to do was jus pop the courtesy question and rrrrrrripppp!! , He would never hesitate to let go!! That man had a talent for things!! Especially this!! Till this date, I have NEVER seen anyone who could fart at will!! No effort!! Wonder how grand mom kept up with all the disturbance while she was cooking!! Lo!! I was wrong!! If grandpa was a master, she used to match him move for move!! Of course, with the ladies, you would never be so explicit enough to ask, but she had her own share of mega farts!! I still remember once, we were invited to gramps 60'th b'day celebrations!! If you knew a typical south indian iyengaar family, other than grandmom, no one else was even to step into the boundary of the kitchen!! So there we were, all merry, sitting down to eat with the usual plantain leaf (a typical south indian brahmin tradition, food is served on plantain leaves, an art of mastering eating this style shall make it to a later blog!!) Grandma servin all of us with utmost devotion and care not to spill things onto the floor (the food was considered god given!!). The atmosphere merry and people chatting away and making fun ofeach other. Then my mom came up with one of those stories that my dad used to do to woo her (theirs was a love marriage , my mom being a model from bombay and dad an advertising manager for a leading newspaper) . I, till date, do not understand what gramps found so funny in that e started laughing like he had never laughed before!! The relative laughing scene was so extreme that gramps lets out an EARTH SHATTERING ONE!!!! More laughing ensued at gramps for his 'act'!! It was then i realised my grandmom's prowess!! She laughed so much that she let go of one SO BIG that it silenced the entire house!!!!! Everyone was dumbstruck!!! Poor Granny!! Embarassed she ran off into the kitchen and started cryin!!! More laughter ensued with bouts of farting!!! Man!! That was ONE FART EAT!!!
I thought this legacy ended there, but wait!! I was wrong again!! Dad!! To the outside world he was the ideal gentleman!! When inside the house, he was the most ridiculously funny man i had ever seen!! Jokes,Farts, man!! I would'nt rate him with grandpa, but dad had a class of his own!! He would let go only when he was in the mood, unlike his predecessor who could emanate gas whenever required!! And yes, he could imitate!! gramps, grandad, you name it he imitated it!! I remember once he did a choo choo train!! Hilarious!!
This art never stopped with my dynasty but even with the friends i made!! Still reminds me of Sandeep, a childhood friend from school. He was a good chap, never spoke much (as i was not mallu!!) but here's how it goes!! Legend goes that one fine day our man had a bit too much to eat from the school canteen!! Post lunch session, we were attending History class. The teacher was very intently explaining the plots of Hitler against the Jews and how he tortured them into the gas chambers and so on... Everyone was so deep into her narration that no one even wanted to take down notes (we never do, but thats a different story!!) Sandeep all the while was a restless soul shifting up and down, movin around uneasily in the wooden bench on which he was seated upon. "Then Hitler ran for his life! He knew the people were after his blood!! He ran to his army quarters and loaded a pistol and, unable to face his crimes, he pulled the... BBBBRBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The teacher's face turned red!!! Everyone turned back to look at poor Sandeep!! The poor fellow did not know what to do!! Being a fair faced mallu had its disadvantage here!! He blushed so hard that he was red in the face!! Literally!!
The teacher goes on to ask him "What is the meaning of that young man?!!" (dumb teacher, i know!!) Now tradition goes that, when questioned by a senior authority, we give them their due respect by raising ourselves from our seated position to a more subdued and respectable standing position to answer them. Our chap does the same thing. He just could manage "i'm sorry ma'm but actually BBBBBRBBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!" thats it!!! He ran out of class faster than a formula 1 car can start from the starting line!!! Class lost interest in Hitler's bombings but now they had a new hero. And the great soul was forso named "Bomberman"!! Christined by yours truly!!! Till date he is still embarassed by the incidents and is still unable to face the teachers in school whenever we go for an alumini meet!! LOL!! I still laugh when i think about the old days!! Miss the chap! He is Dubai working for a software concern! Of what last i heard he was using Visual Basic for encoding a project to develop a 'bomb' detector!!!
August 18
Nostalgia
After aeons together, spoke y'day to one of my closest and best buddies AJ!! He's in the US of A doing his masters degree, and of what last i know, he is also working somewhere!! thats utterly great news for someone completely irresponsible and misorganised!! He's someone i've seen grow from a lanky 3 footer to a lankier 6 foot 5!! man is he TALL!!!!! anyways it was fun talkin although we seemed to run outta topics every second minute!! "The value of something is only realised when it's missed!!" Whoever said this was defintiely in the sanest of their minds!!man!! AJ, if u readin this, i miss u buddy!!
Also, as if to commemorate that event, yours truly was playing all old numbers last nite which we enjoyed as kids. These songs meant more than the 5 buck thumbs up drink or the eclairs chocloate we used to crave for!! Nirvana's 'smells like teen spirit' doubly made sure that it was my favorite of all time!! Also included were, madonna's 'it used to be my playground', inxs with ' need you tonight' , vanessa williams, the eagles with 'tequila sunrise', all of michael jackson's hits, def leppard, the list just goes onnnnnnnnnnn......... man!! Those were the times when we first saw star tv (i'm talkin about the 91-92 era!!) Man!!! Nostalgic!! hmmmmm.. *sighs deeply* Reminds one of those innocent days when the only word we had ever heard even close to 'ego' was 'ega theatre'!! Weekly movies on TV, oliyum oliyum, that godforsaken junoon serial!!! buniyaad, vyomkesh bhakshi, fauji (the one which sharukh khan acted!!).
It was a time when friendship meant going out with buddies for that looooong hot day of cricket, the emotions of which even overpower the fierce rivalry between india and pakistan!! All that was forgotten the minute the last wicket was taken!! Everyone joins over for a nice cold drink or ice cream!! I still remember the times buddies used to to troop in every sunday evening into my house, partly to watch movies and play monopoly. But the prime intention being to devour the absolutely lip smackin crunchy masala bajjis that mom makes!! The real challenge lay here to eat as many as u can before the game runs out!! There were no worries of money, the only real threat coming when suddenly people decide, 'lets go for a movie!!' At times of crisis like that, i remember amma shelling out 50 bux that used to last me the movie, snacks,cool drinks and saved enough to buy me cadburys every single day for the rest of the month!! This jolly event, unfortunately, used to come by only like once in 2 or 3 months!!! man!! To even think what 50 bux wud do i the world of today!! Frankly speakin it would be spent on petrol for me in the process of going to the theatre!!
There was also this annual event in my apartment in which we used to spend the new year, or any other occasion with a variety of games, so vast that the entire gaming dictionary would not be able to accomodate!! This generally used to be followed by quizzes, acts, dances, music, lovely food, a special dish from each house!! All ammas and appas laughing and also acting like kids!! All of us in unision screamin our lungs out welcoming the new year on december 31st night, the decibel levels of which put the van halen or metallica concerts to shame!! Miss all those lovely times!! Miss parents, their antics, their umpteen efforts in keeping us happy to make us grow and eventually do a write up like this that they might actually sometimes read and feel good about and bring that single tear to the eye which signifies total satisfaction of seeing their kith and kin applauding their efforts on child rearing, not loudly, but as simple as this!! Love u dad and mom, and all my buddies dad's and moms too, not to forget y'all too!!
August 05
Thoughts over the ending week..
Well... the week went good... really good actually!! did'nt hear from from my bosses nor my superiors!! i heard of a nice comment from one of my friends which goes something like this.. "an Optimist is a person who thinks bullshit is fertilizer!!" really made lots of humorous sense when i actually thought about it!! finally after a lotta probing found that this was a saying that was by our very own Navjot singh Sighu to Rameez Raja!!! wow!! now it all made sense!!! looking to party hard over the weekend!! got a cuppla parties to attend lets see how they get on!! i hate to do this but i actually gotto run!! cheers!!
August 02
A thought on nomenclature
This post was written by a friend Sidin Vadukut. A blogger par extreme!! Slight modifications done by yours truly to suit south indian conditions!!
Yet another action packed weekend in Chennai, full of fun, frolic and introspection. I have learnt many things. For example, having money when none of your friends have any is as good as not having any. And after spending much time in movie theatres, cafes and restaurants, I have gathered many insights into the endless monotony that is the love life of south Indian men. What I have unearthed is most disheartening. Disheartening because comprehension of these truths will not change their status anytime soon. However there is also cause for joy. They never stood a chance anyway.
What loads the dice against virile, gallant, well educated, good looking, funny, sincere gults, tams and mallus (well, are they included)? (kannadigas were once among them, but Bangalore has changed all that.) Their futures are shot to hell as soon as their parents bestow upon them names that are anything but alluring. I cannot imagine a more foolproof way of making sure the child remains single till classified advertisements or that maternal uncle in San Francisco thinks otherwise. Name him "Parthasarathy Venkatachalapathy" and his inherent capability to combat celibacy is obliterated before he could even talk. He will grow to be known as Partha. Before he knows, his smart, seductively named northie classmates start calling him Paratha. No woman in their right minds will go anywhere near poor Parthasarathy. His investment banking job doesn't help either. His employer loves him though. He has no personal life you see. (What could you expect with a name l ike that?) By this time the Sanjay Singhs and Bobby Khans from his class have small businesses of their own and spend 60% of their lives in discos and pubs. The remaining 40% is spent coochicooing with leather and denim clad muses in their penthouse flats on ECR Road. Business is safely in the hands of the Mallu manager. After all, with a name like Blossom Babykutty or Jijo J Jagan, he can't use his 30000 salary anywhere. Blossom gave up on society when in school they automatically enrolled him for Cookery Classes. Along with all the girls. Yes my dear friends, nomenclature is the first nail in a coffin of neglect and hormonal pandemonium. In a kinder world they would just name the poor southern male child and throw him off the balcony. "Yes appa, we have named him Goundamani..." THUD!! Life would have been less kind to him anyway. If all the women Upadhyays, Kumars, Pintos and, god forbid, the Sens and Roys in the world were distributed amongst the Narasimhamreddys, Vadukuts and Koppuravuris, they would all be merry Casanovas with 3 to 4 pretty things at each arm. But alas, it is not to be. Of course the south Indian women have no such issues. They have names which are like sweet poetry to the ravenous northie hormone tanks. Picture this: "Welcome, and this is my family. This is my daughter Sneha (what a sweet name!!) and my son Ponnalagusamy (er... hello!!..).." Cyanide would not be fast enough for poor Samy. Nothing Samy does will help him. He can pump iron, drive fast cars and wear snazzy clothes, but against a brainy dude called Arjun Singhania he has as much chance of getting any as a Benedictine Monk in a Saharan Seminary.
Couple this with the other failures that have plagued their existence. Any attempt at spiking hair with gel fails miserably. In an hour they have a crown of greasy, smelly fibrous mush. The night ends there. However the northie just has to scream "Wakaaw!!!" and you have to peel the women off him to let him breathe. In a disco, while they can manage the medium hip shake with neck curls, once the Bhangra starts pumping, they are as fluid as cement and gravel in a mixer. Karan Kapoor or Jatin Thapar in the low cut jeans with chaddi strap showing and see through shirt throws his elbows perfectly, the cynosure of all attention. The women love a man who digs pasta and fondue. But why do they not see the simple pleasures of curd rice and coconut chutney? When poor Senthilnathan opens his tiffin box in the office lunch room his female coworkers just dissappear when they see the tamarind rice and poppadums. The have all rematerialized around Bobby Singh who has ordered in Pizza and Garlic bread. (And they have the gall to talk of foreign origin!) Sociologically too, the gult or tam or mallu man is severely sidelined. The mallu is SIMBLY out of question. He is the target of many a joke and one-liners. An average tam or gult stud stays in a house with, on an average, three grandparents, three sets of uncles and aunts, and over 10 children. Not the ideal atmosphere for some intimacy and some full throated "WHO'S YOUR DADDY!!!" at the 3 in the morning. The mallu guy of course is almost always in the gulf working alone on some onshore oil rig in the desert. Rheumatic elbows me thinks. Alas dear friends, they are just not meant to set the nights on fire. They are just not built to be "The Ladies Man". The black man has hip hop, the white man has rock, and what does the southie guy have? Idlis and tomato rasam or an NRI account in South Indian Bank Ernakulam Branch. Alas as his destiny was determined in one full swoop by his nomenclature, so will his future be. A nice arranged little love story. But the agony of course does not end there. On the first night, as the stud sits on his bed finally within touching distance and whispers his sweet desires into her delectable ear, she blushes, turns around and whispers back "But amma has said only on second Saturdays, da!..."
July 26
The travails.... contd...
Well, I did finally manage to get out on sunday and make it to my "date" much to the exasperation of my girlfriend who was vehemently denying the fact that Saaarah called me out!!! reached sparks at the designated time of 5 PM and there was no sign of the "mad mallu" (as tara has fondly named her!!) well.. i need not specify but it was a good time actually. Arrived 30 minutes late (gals always do!! sadistic pleasure in making men i wait me thinks!!) . Not bad looking but definitely not the mallu gal i was thinking she was. pretty and petite (was hard to imagine it was the same gal i spoke to!!!) for the entire 3 hours i was there, the maximum i could utter was the occasional yes or all right!! te gal did all the talking!!! man she can talk!! for those who know swapna's friend shrividya, this gal beats the crap outta her left right and centre!!! non stop nonsense!!! anyways a cuppla beers later things kinda cooled down and then the gal kinda slurs down a bit. me happy coz my ears have finally had a breather!! not sure i want to mention details about the date, but i can generally classify it as good "clean" fun!! dropped the gal back home and kinda manged to tell her the fact that i am already taken. she understood (i think) and confirmed that she too was trying to convince her parents that she would like to choose her guy. wished her all the best and zoomed away!!! well till then "trinity" (my bike if u were wondering) was a perfectly behaved good gal. donno wot happened after that, but suddenly started being ultra responsive to the throttle!! this saw me wheelie off the signal at 2 points, near valluvar kottam and also near gn chetty road!! damn sure the poilce van noted the number!!! raced with a cuppla pulsar wannabes!!! poor fellas, pity them!!! then comes a "dude" on an aquila (its a new bike from kinetic), "dude" follows me all the way as i rip thru traffic upto "the amethyst". step in to the place and was greeted by loud howls and screams, courtesy my yamaha club and the bullet club members (partially drunk as usual!!). the "dude" on the aquila sits on the next table and is "politely" listening to our stories of the week!! finally as if ego got the better of him, stands up and bellows "hey!! who would like to drag with me upto the taj hotel??!! winner gets 1000 bux!!" now the club boys are generally an enthu crowd, but when confronted by this "dude" were a bit taken back for an open challenge!! after all a puny 225cc "cruiser" challengin a 350 cc sports bike or a 500cc bullet??!! man, i was laffin from the inside!! "dude" introduces himself as praveen from loyola. so a chap from one of us (obviously fuelled up with a mixture of whisey and badly bruised ego!!) blurts "take ur pick and we will kick ur ass royally!!!" "dude" chooses yours truly!!! was expecting that though!! about 30-45 seconds later, cash payments are made to a 'neutral' person and both of us are straddled up ready to roar. now i wouldnt like to boast off, but the minute he said "go" all i could see was my front wheel up in the air for about 20 seconds!!! looked to the side to see a bewildered "dude"!! one jab on the back brake bought herback to terra firma and poor praveen could only watch the smoke!! vroomed all the way around the taj and back to amethyst!! entire trip took 6 mins and 22 seconds precisely!! averaging 122 kmph. about 5 minutes later praveen comes back and me is waiting with his 1000 bux in hand!! gives an excuse that his bike was in bad shape and all sortsa reasons!! who cares!! a 1000 bux richer, all of us troop down to besant nagar beach!! superb dinner ensued with adequaet amount of smokes and laffs over the poor "dude"!! overall a picture perfect finish to the day!!
July 22
The travails to secure a cheap 24 /7 internet connection
After much thought and decision on what I would have to do on my ever increasing dial up telephone bill, I finally succumbed to the pressure and called up a private telephone company to find out what is the latest scene happening in the private internet subscriber line. The conversation was something more or less like this. Me says “Hi! I’m trying to find out tariff rates for a DSL connection I would like to install in my house for personal use. Can you let me know what the plans available are?” In response to that, I hear from the other end, a high pitched sound, comparable to a heavy duty power drill scraping across a nice, clean blackboard!!!! Shocked for a second (and also temporarily deafened!!) I try my bit again and this time there is an actual human being replying!!! Wow!! She apologizes for the unpleasant sounds that emanated and reasons it as “sorry saar, the fax machine was switched on by mistake!!” Then, with the most forced accent I have ever heard on a conversation, “hello saar, my name is Saaraah and I am here to help you!!!” Words cannot describe the reaction that ran through in my head at that time! Was I in Mallu paradise??
Trying to be as polite as possible, I continue asking “Saaraah” about the internet plans that would be feasible. “Saar, right now we yaar facing yan yekkstreme yemergency with the internet plans yand dha connection is very bobular!! I would suggest dhat yuu go in for dha 2000 rubees plan dhat everyone is yenjoying right now!! (Believe me!! No exaggerations!! Word by word, the exact same thing was spoken!!!) I tell her again “honey, please, I really am looking for a connection that would be feasible with not high bandwidth and lower costs”. I don’t know if she took the “honey” word personally but she goes on “yes da I understand darling!!! (shocked reactions from me!!) but it wud be besht if you took dhis 2000 rubees connection. Very cheap and the best with the no installation charges!!”. Decided on a more professional manner and continued “you don’t seem to understand, I need something within a 1000 bucks”. In reply to that I hear the most “amazing way to attempt to sell the product answer” which goes something like this “yeah da, but understand na? 1000 rubees you don’t get yanny decent things!! Think you are spending just yan extra (!!!!) 1000 bucksu and you are yenjoying my speed!! I will make you very happy and I will also be happy and combany also happy!!” I was shaken out of my very senses when I heard this!! What was this woman trying to sell me??
An internet connection seemed highly improbable at this time and I decided to try my luck with another “yagent”. So I tell saaraah, “ok I will call back regarding this, I need to go now”. She asks the usual question about the contact details and I give her my mobile number and I thought it ended at this. But lo!! Fate had other plans!!
About 20 minutes later, beer in hand and chips on the other, deep into the best start of a formula 1 race this season I have ever seen, I receive a call from an unknown number. Thinking it to be one of my colleagues at work, quickly pick it up and hear “hi daa!! What are yuu dooingu??”. Now I could not keep the phone as it would be insulting to her so forced myself to a non-irritated “hi saaraah”. I express my wish to call later as I am busy now but our girl here wants to talk NOW!!! Goes on about her life styleu, her broberties, amma and appe, herself, her brudhers and her sishters!! I keep interrupting her but there seems to be no end to this mallu family!! By the end of her description, I get the feeling that half of trivandrum is her “fame”ily. I ask her politely what’s the point of this exercise to which she replies, “yactually, they are looking out for a guy for me yin my houseu. I thought I wud also help them by finding my own guy”. I didn’t really understand what she was trying to hint at here (pretty dumb of me I know!!). In the next 5 minutes, she casually asks, “yuu go to discos?” With male ego taking the better of me at this point of me, I reply “of course yes!!” as if she asked something that was a regular outing for me!! “good daa!! So we will go this Saturday to Shparksu!! (sparks) don’t worry, I will sponsor!!” I would have felt better if I had jumped off the petronas towers!! Why me??!! I politely deny but NO!! this woman wont take no for an answer!! After much coaxing and deliberation, I finally am forced to say OK (half the F1 race is completed by now!!) and the girl is completely delighted!! (no idea why!!) now I just wonder, would all the beoble, sheesh whats happening to me!! I meant would all the people who just query for an internet connection be treated the same way???!! All I ever wanted was a connection for the house, now I am stuck up in ya mallu get together!!! lemme wait for what this weekend has to unfurl for me!! God!! Save me!!
July 20
The beginning of the blog
Well, i just wanted to find out what this "my spaces" thing was all about and it turned out to be a blog space. interesting!! let's see!! what do i mention on this very first blog??!! can't think of anything in specific. thought i would write about myself, but i aint no superhero nor is ther anything unique in me to write about. thought i would write about the climate today, but it's the same bloody thing all over chennai!! hot and humid!! well, though i would write about my bike, but no, she's not in the best of shapes to mention anything about in specific. well eventually made up my mind to blog this space so did that!! mission accomplished!!
hit me back
just to chat
Bobby
Monday, February 12, 2007
Moving in!!!
I am moving into this blog spot as my msn blog does not seem to load correctly and seems to crash most of the times!!! will start pasting all the old posts and continue here!!!
Ice
Ice
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